What is Your Voting Plan?

SO, here’s my voting plan: already done. Have you voted yet?

Seriously, if you are apathetic and don’t plan to vote, read on.

If you are voting for a man who has recently been accused of sexual misconduct (to put it mildly) by 11 women – I simply refuse to believe I actually have “friends” and acquaintances who think that orange hued lump of sludge is worth wasting your vote on. Or, perhaps it is simply that I have been misled about your intellect – only a true fool thinks this known liar, thief, KGB sympathizer, misogynist, racist, asshole will make their life better – and I know (okay, I hope) you are smarter than that.

If you are too busy to find time in your schedule, too broke to get to the polls, too intimidated by poll watchers to show up – call me, I will drive you or find some other kind soul to do so.

If you think your vote doesn’t count, go vote anyway, just in case your all-knowing self is wrong. What exactly is the downside?

Even if you don’t “like” Hillary, do those of us a favor who think that electing a woman president is actually a big fucking deal and a whole helluva lot of change – and in breaking the glass ceiling will allow your daughters, even if they are being raised to be alt-right nutties, a chance at the highest office. To paraphrase Oprah, you don’t have to like her – she ain’t inviting you over for dinner anytime soon – but, you do have to put your ethics and morals on the line here. If you wouldn’t allow your priest, your husband, your son, to talk about grabbing your daughter’s genitals – then do the right thing and vote for someone else.

Even if Clinton turns out to be a disaster of a president (and I’m confident she won’t), you will have four years to advocate for a candidate who will make you feel proud instead of feeling like you need to take a hot shower or go to confession.

Knock off the bullshit – you may “hate” her, but you do understand that the world doesn’t, half the country doesn’t, most of the armed forces leadership doesn’t, most Hispanics don’t, almost every person of color doesn’t, and most importantly, your mothers, sisters, wives, daughters – nearly all of them don’t.

Put your vote where your words have been all these years you family values voters, you environmentalists, you church-going evangelists, you I’m-against-big-money-advocates – sometimes life isn’t black and white – sometimes you have to look at the big picture. Do that now and go vote. Call me when you’re done and I’ll will listen patiently while you tell me how awful it was to check the box for Clinton. I will buy you a drink to wash away the taste. But, do me a favor this one time – go vote.

Then get off your ass for the next four years and make whatever you think you want to happen, happen. Because, here’s the thing you can learn from our first woman president – sometimes you have to do things you don’t like. Sometimes even if you’re not perfect, kids get healthcare, sick people get insurance, women get taken seriously in the workplace. You will learn that perfect is the enemy of good. You will learn about perseverance. And finally, you will learn that working hard and trying to do the right thing gets you way farther than sitting at home on your couch inhaling orange dusted cheetos.