One Week Update on Knee Surgery

I have received a lot of sweet emails, texts, and calls over the past few days, so I thought I’d do a quick update on my progress. I’m doing better than expected and reaching the goals set out for me by in-home therapy.

In knee speak, I’m at a 0 degree extension (straight leg) and 104 degree flexion at the one-week point which is pretty darn good, if I say so myself. I had read a lot of books ahead of time about bending my knee just hours after surgery even though one may not want to. That seems to have set me on a good path in terms of my flexion.

Not all is sunny and bright. I still cannot lift my leg on my own, which is, my therapist tells me, fairly common. She explained, in some sort of medical-ese, about signals not being able to get to my quad, blah blah blah, because of inflammation from the surgery. That should come around within the next few weeks. Weeks?! It does make for difficult mobility, but I am determined.

The pain has been far less than I expected, except when the physical terrorist is around. She seems like such a nice lady, but the chick has a dark side, I’m telling you.

My modesty is keeping me in the house until I graduate to the cane. You know things are wonky when graduating to a cane is something one looks forward to. That, and getting into a car is not for the faint-hearted. It requires an extra hour just for the plan of attack. So, for now, I’m all tucked in my cozy new family room for the long game.

I’ve been happily entertained with phone calls and visits. Surprisingly, I have had no interest in reading the gazillion books I had looked so forward to digging into nor have I binged any of the series I have waiting for me on Netflix. Sounds like I have a while more of this sitting around business, so there will be time.

In the meantime, the hours fly between therapy sessions, and the rest of the time I’m figuring out how to juggle a glass of water while walking with a walker.  I’m telling you, it’s the small things, man.

Posting a safe picture of my post-op new friend. I’ll spare you any of the graphic details of what she looks like under that ace bandage.

Knee Surgery

Surgery Day!

Christine’s husband here.

She wanted me to thank all the well-wishers yesterday, by phone and text and to give you all a quick update. She is out of surgery and her surgeon said that all went as well as we could have hoped. She is in recovery and expected to have her first PT session this afternoon. I’m sure she’ll update later, but warns that she may be loopy as the day is long. She also sends her appreciation and told me that the good wishes helped keep her calm and positive.

Cheers!

Quick update from me: Been a long day, but surgery went well. Had a scary episode post-surgery, but doing well now. Already up for a few tics, but the vagaling (fainting) made everyone a bit cautious. It was me that pushed to get up and walk an hour after surgery, so clearly my ambition got ahead of my ability, hence the vagal. Husband and son have been terrific, and Hopkins has been exemplary so far. Thanks for the good thoughts, positive energy, and prayers in the lead up to the big day. I appreciate them more than I can express at the moment.

Coffee Shop Musings

Coffee Shop MusingsA guy, dressed in all black – pants, leather jacket, bald head, cammo boots – is sitting in my usual spot. Think less Danny Devito and more Vladimir Putin. He has that terrifying look of someone playing a hit man in a thriller.

Vlad has ordered nothing from the counter, keeps looking at his watch, and is wildly jiggling his leg. He is clearly waiting for someone. I am certain of my impending death in some international espionage situation and spend not a short amount of time contemplating whether I should heed my mother’s advice, trust my gut, make like a bunny, and scamper to the nearest exit.

I reason with myself – my latte is hot and I am finally warm. And, I got a seat by the fire for a change. Also, I want to see the latecomer. My curiosity, for not the umpteenth time in my life, wins out.

Vlad appears to be agitated and I pity the person he is waiting for, who is clearly late. I curse that person who is making my hit man angry(ier). I try to make eye contact with the Russian president – maybe if he sees my kind, social-workery eyes, he’ll spare me when his friend/victim arrives.

He gets up and makes his way to the counter where he orders a flipping espresso. THAT seals the deal. Nobody gets a two-sip coffee this early in the morning. He must need to jack himself up for whatever is about to go down. (I, too, watched The Americans. I know how these things work.)

He drinks his baby drink in one gulp WHILE STANDING. Who does that?? He starts to head in my direction and I meekly smile at him. He does not smile back and I am a little offended. He goes back to his table where he continues his watch-checking and leg-jiggling.

Seriously, dude. Just CALL your friend/victim and find out if the Red Line is late again. (I want to say.) A few more minutes pass and he stomps back up to the counter.

He demands something from the cashier, which I can’t quite make out. Could be all the money in their register. Could be a demand for croissants. Who knows at this point.

And, there it is. He orders up a box of heart-shaped Linzer cookies.

Wait, what was that now? C’mon man. You are giving international assassins a bad name.

Just as Vlad turns around, pink frilly gift box in hand, a blonde woman, maybe in her 50’s, walks in the door. He gallantly presents her with his gift of heart cookies, throws an arm around her, and off they go.

Maybe it’s Trump. Maybe it’s that freaking scary Roger Stone, but the world has become a hilarious and terrifying place.

My night shift nurses just walked in and ordered their usual orange juice and wee bottles of champagne for their morning mimosas. I’m glad the place has returned to normal. After my near escape, I may need to join them.

Coffee Shop Musings

Coffee Shop Musings
Two white women sitting next to me at the coffee shop. About 63 years old or so. Extolling the virtues of Trump. Here are some snippets:

–Why can’t she just let him be a man. Men like to be macho and say those things.
–Hillary doesn’t pay any taxes either.
–I don’t want to pay for other people’s health care. If they take better care of themselves they wouldn’t need health care.
–Most of the people who are voting for Hillary are “blacks” who live in the ghetto and want a free ride
–Trump is the only shot we have
–I have traveled to Sweden. Those people like cold weather and so they don’t get sick and therefore don’t need the healthcare they get free (????)

And for the final gem,

–If poor people would eat more fish, they wouldn’t need Obamacare.

I have thrown enough eye rolls and mouthed “are you f*cking kidding me” in their direction that they’ve lowered their voices. They know they are fools. They know.

Lord, grant me…well, grant me the wisdom not to trip an old woman (or two) on my way out.

About Last Night – A BIG win for Progressive Liberals. A Big Win for the Democratic Party.

As someone over on Twitter said,

“It’s not that complicated. We can support progressives in super blue districts and moderates in swing districts. There’s room in our party for both and we are going to need both to flip Congress. Our party has a bigger tent than Trump’s GOP. Let’s embrace it!”

I’m no fan of Bernie Sanders, the person, but I believe in much of what he stands for as an elected official. I just happen to believe there are better ways of getting there than running a divisive campaign and not inspiring his supporters to see a realistic path to real change.

Ms. Ocasio-Cortez did it the right way. She’s a capital D Democrat. She worked for Ted Kennedy. She ran on a platform of all things Dems have fought for all our lives. She calls it a movement, I call it my life’s work since before she was born. So, if anyone has a problem with what she stands for, he or she is ignorant of what the Democratic party has always stood for. To them I would say, STFU and remember there are kids in cages on the southern border.

Ms. Ocasio-Cortez’ win was certainly a move for progressive liberals. But, her supporters (and I am one of them) should remember this was also a win for the Democratic party. That she ran against an incumbent who got lazy and complacent in this election is beside the point. Detractors can point to the fact that this was a solid blue district – it was a win no matter who came out on top, but that would miss a big point in her victory – she ran on a good, old-fashioned, democratic platform. She had a better message. She understood we have a big tent and she needs all of us. What Democrat wouldn’t be proud of that?!

If we want a truly liberal and progressive party, we must allow those who can be elected on a solidly progressive platform to do so. To ignore that faction is to lose our party and, without hyperbole, lose the real core of our democracy.

And to those Bernie fans who just can’t help but do a victory lap by yet again condemning the party which he thought so highly of as to change his affiliation (before changing it back, of course), then he or she also needs to STFU and understand we need each other to get these deplorable people out of power. There are toddlers in cages on the southern border.

Joe Crowley was a good man who got complacent and he faced an opponent with a better message. He was in public service a long time – we should not forget his sacrifice. I’m proud of how he handled his defeat. He made it easy for his supporters to champion this newly elected progressive – and he welcomed her message. We need to remember how to do that as we go through these primaries. Be like Joe in this respect.

Bernie never did and the fissure is wide and unlikely to heal. This should terrify any of us who truly cares for our country, the least among us, and those who need a champion.

We have bankers and social workers and dog walkers and CEOs in our party. We must find a way to respect them all, and that starts with how we win and how we act when we lose.

I challenge people who were Bernie supporters and ecstatic over Ms. Ocasio-Cortez’ win last night to be gracious to those who supported Mr. Crowley. No, she will not need his voters for her win this fall in her very blue district. But, from the comments I have seen this morning, the disregard and disrespect for her Democratic opponent is alive and well. It must work both ways. I have confidence she will lead the way.

Yes, we must champion those who have been disenfranchised from our party, but we must also champion those who have been in the thick of it for a long time. Yes, there is corruption in all parties. Yes, there is reluctance to change. But, no, it isn’t the same as the GOP. The facts are, women will not lose the right to choose if a Democrat is elected. A Democrat will not cede another justice thereby condemning the Supreme Court to a conservative party for the next 50 years. Your children (depending on your age) will be middle-aged or old men and women when the tide turns.

Yesterday, the Supreme Court chipped away at a women’s right to choose. Overturning Roe is on the near horizon and one justice away from reality. Yesterday, they banned people from entering our country based on religion. Last week, the bill to remove pre-existing conditions from healthcare raced through congress. Yesterday, nothing was done to unlock the cages and reunite babies with their mothers. Just this morning, the Supreme Court ruled along party lines, that government employees do not have to participate in collective bargaining. It is a big blow to labor unions, something Bernie Sanders championed.

That’s what happens when you miss the big picture.

I hope we can all refocus the excitement around candidates who can win, rather than candidates who should win. We, as liberals, must do the most liberal thing in the world and make room for everyone in our tent (except maybe Sarah Sanders, until, you know, she stops lying).

A good example of why this has to happen: Doug Jones won a special election in Alabama. He didn’t get there because the 25 Democrats in the state voted for him, let me tell you. And he didn’t get there by suddenly becoming a progressive liberal. Would I love it if Alabama were progressively liberal? Abso-fucking-lutely. It’s not going to happen anytime soon (and I lived in the deep south for two decades, so I have some authority here). But one day they could get there. And they’ll do it with baby steps. We must allow them time to do that without abandoning our core values.

To put a fine point on it – we start by allowing compassionate conservatives a place in the tent. They are not going to vote for a progressive liberal. At least not today, maybe not this year. Maybe not in 2020. But, they may move a little further toward the center. And that’s good for all of us. On the other hand, where we can elect progressives to office, we must. They will drive and excite the future leaders of our country. And, if you, like me, know these young folks, you know they will do a much better job than we have.

Bernie people, never-trumpers, GOPers who are sickened by the imploding of our democracy, and yes, even those of us who have been life-long Democrats – we need to decide right now where our priorities are – taking a victory lap or opening the tent flaps. Because, it is in the aftermath of these primaries that we either link arms or do everlasting damage to our party. And that starts with holding ourselves and our chosen candidates and their supporters to a higher standard of openness and grace. Many of us have been working in this “movement” for a long time. Respect that. Understand that. And then, let’s move on, together.

Our Take on the June 26 Maryland Primary

This is especially for upcounty friends who haven’t voted early, but are asking how to figure out who to vote for in our Maryland primary. We’ve had a number of calls in the past few days asking where to even start with the tanker full of mailers and gazillion scorecards they are (trying to) sort through.

Here’s the system my husband and I used – neither scientific, nor in some cases, entirely brilliant, but the job is done and three days later, we’re still happy with our choices. Our opinions are our own. No names named – and no finger pointing here. Just reiterating the actual conversations we’ve had around our kitchen table and with neighbors and friends.

First stop is to get the handy LWV guide just to get an idea of who is running for which seats. They don’t endorse, but all candidates are listed with answers from most to broad questions about a variety of subjects. You can find it online or come by for a glass of wine (or coffee) and we’ll give you ours.

It’s a weird year – too many people we like running against each other, both of us have colleagues, former colleagues, or neighbors running. Where we just couldn’t choose one over the other – we split the vote. Stupid, perhaps, but at least our conscience is clean.

The rest represent what’s important to us on a local level, for the county as a whole, and at the tippy top of the ticket, who can represent the state with grace, experience, and thought, although many of them reach that bar, so we feel we are in good hands, no matter who wins in the primary.

Mostly, though, our choices were based on the following:

  1. Were they a transit advocate – did they advocate early and often for the Purple Line – something that won’t effectively change our lives up here, but certainly something I’ve put just shy of a decade into professionally and, obviously, believe will change the face (and fate) of our state for the better. We also believe whenever transit can replace cars and roads it’s a good thing for all of us. Much like those ubiquitous signs popping up in areas that aren’t in a particular candidate’s district, air knows no boundries, either, so fewer roads, fewer cars, more transit is always a front runner for us.
  2. Having said that, there is also reality for us upcounty folks. Does the candidate have a real, doable plan for the I-270 corridor? Being an advocate of All Day MARC service certainly helps, but even that didn’t tip the iceberg for us completely. All day Marc service + a reversible lane + a dedicated express bus lane is more like it. We looked for candidates that rounded out some solutions to solve the insane traffic problems up here – not just paid lip-service to something that won’t be considered (sure we would LOVE a light rail all the way up to Frederick, but we need relief now and I am a good person to assess how long it can take a project to become reality, trust me.)
  3. If the candidate held office at the time, did they show up in our community in person to support our neighbors and friends when the murder of two high school students occurred in a sleepy and safe neighborhood?
  4. Does the candidate, if they are an incumbent, respond to community complaints quickly? Did they solve the problems they were called about – either by giving specific information or making sure the services needed were contacted?
  5. Did the candidate refuse to endorse Hillary Clinton after the primary, even after Bernie did? Yeah, I know, a hard one to pin down, but it’s important for us, especially at the top of the ticket. We reason that we need someone who will pull the factions together as we head into the midterms and into the 2020 election – not continue to drive a wedge in our party.
  6. Has the candidate ever been seen in these parts…I mean like, EVER? Trust me, candidates do themselves no favors by ignoring the low hanging fruit up here.
  7. Do we know the candidate to be an awesome person?
  8. And, in the case of the at-large County Council candidates – we looked at them as a package and wanted balance. Fine to have our favorite people elected, but we wanted at least one incumbent. That would be the terrific Hans Riemer, for whom we would have voted regardless, but he is also the only incumbent running for an at-large seat. We also wanted at least one representative from upcounty – our needs are different from Silver Spring, Bethesda, and Chevy Chase. The other two votes went to folks we have known and supported for years, who happen to live in other parts of the county.

And that’s about it. I’m glad this election season is coming to a close. I hope, in the future, someone figures out how not to have 459,000 candidates running for a thimble full of seats.

So, here’s the thing. These people aren’t stupid.

Most of us who have been working on the left side of politics have known the true feelings of conservatives for many, many years.

–A woman’s body is not hers to govern.

–The poor just need to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps.

–If the sick had led better lives, they wouldn’t be in the situation that they’re in.

–The unemployed just need to get off the couch and find a job.

–The environment will take care of itself, because God.

–Making money is more important than clean water.

So why are they now so comfortable exposing themselves? These people aren’t stupid, and they’re not short-sighted, either.

They know they have cover right now. Do you really think they’re concerned that they’re going to lose in 2018?

For all who thought last year’s election, even 48 hours prior, was a slam dunk, (because who in their right mind would vote for a degenerate, we thought), we are now in that same mindset again. It’s not so much that we can’t get out the vote in 2018. That certainly seems like a clear path to making this horrible nightmare go away.

It’s all the other things that Republicans are doing, right now, while we are distracted with all sorts of covfefe that will ultimately seal their deal for who knows how many decades into the future.

–Voter suppression in the form of shortened voting hours, the elimination of early voting, ID cards, and voter roll purges.

–Gerrymandering on a scale that we have never seen before that will make, has already made, it impossible for Democrats to be elected.

–Issues with actual balloting and vote processing. Seriously, if Russians can hack our systems, don’t you think the data in voting machines would be the first place they’d go?

So, yes, it’s important to get the vote out. It’s important to enthuse and inspire angry people to do whatever they have to do to get to their polling place next year. But it will all be for naught if we don’t pay attention to what is really going on here.

All you have to do is ask yourself why, after all these years when they’ve kept their private thoughts to themselves, they feel so comfortable laughing and joking in a Rose Garden while taking away healthcare from their fellow citizens.

–Ask yourself why 22 congressman felt comfortable enough to publicly urge the president to withdraw from the Paris agreement.

–Ask yourself why they are comfortable not speaking out about the heinous racist crimes that are going on in our country right now.

–Ask yourselves why they don’t mind being the laughing stock of the whole world.

This is not rocket science. This is about the fact that they believe they have the cover to expose themselves because they understand quite clearly they will be reelected and their agenda will continue.

Getting Over It & Giving Chances

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”
–George W. Bush, 2002

George W. Bush was an ivy-league educated candidate who had been governor of the largest state in the union, and who, by many measures, had done a pretty good job of it. When he was (finally) elected president, putting aside all the hypocrisy and political subterfuge to get him there, the country had every reason to give him a fair shake.

We could understand, just as I’m sure many republicans who reluctantly voted for Hillary Clinton on Tuesday thought, that he would be an adequate, if not stellar, steward of our country. He mightn’t have been the brightest bulb in the batch, nor one with a spine of steel, but we thought at least he would govern from somewhere that resembled the middle.

And he turned out to be a horrible, terrible, awful president. (Newsweek)

The wars he began were just a small part of his awfulness. Some of us marched in Boston and New York and Washington DC. Some railed on television after his lousy decisions. All of it too late, of course.

Some of us remember very clearly the lessons of a president who acted like he had a mandate, governed like he knew liberals would do what they always do and cave in with an olive branch between their teeth – and when they did, he and his dark overlord buddies took full advantage of our newfound apathy.

It is with this in mind that I am incredulous that there are those (small in number, thankfully, for now) on the left uncomfortable with the fact that some of us, many of us in fact, think this KKK-endorsed president-elect deserves nothing more than a cup of his own medicine.

For those of you who didn’t vote for him, who are now calling for unity with a GOP that doesn’t even recognize itself – like this is some kind of normal transition of power – for those who are calling for giving this poser an opportunity, I have a question (or ten) for you, not the least of which is, at what point will you say enough?

I have a sneaky suspicion that you think somehow the GOP will do something different than they have been telling us (and showing us) they would do.

  • Did you think they were lying when they said on day one of the Obama administration that they would do everything in their power to oppose him?
  • That they would gridlock Congress for as long as they could, even if it meant harming the people they served?
  • That they would oppose even bringing this president’s SCOTUS nominee to a vote?

Who could have thought? The answer is, a lot of us. And we weren’t wrong.

So, at what point will you realize you’ve had enough? Unbelievably, his campaign wasn’t enough for you.

Does your self-righteous piety tell you exactly when you will finally realize how dangerous this is? Will it be:

• After he nominates the most racist, uneducated, xenophobic cabinet imaginable? (The Washington Post, Nov 11, 2016)
• After he guts ACA, but leaves children on the plan to appease only the most naive of liberal voters, leaving families who are faced with losing their homes to pay for life-saving medical expenses?
• After his appointment of supreme court justices – and I’d bet my bottom dollar the first Supreme Court nominee will be a right-wing, right-to-lifer woman whose track record should send cold shivers down the spine of any person who respects a woman’s right to choose?
• After he lays the first brick in his beautiful wall between Mexico and the U.S?
• After he holds how many of his proposed rallies will you be begin to be concerned that this seems awfully Nazi-esque? (New York Times, Nov. 12, 2016)
• After he appoints his son and other family members to his cabinet?
• After he is allowed to keep his fortune in a blind trust so that the American public will never know how (not if) this snake oil salesmen is benefiting from the decisions he makes? (Washington Post, Nov. 11, 2016)

Please enlighten me – explain how you can give a chance to someone who, less than seven days ago, was standing by his hateful words, his disgusting characterization of women, blacks, the handicapped, Mexicans? The same person whose election evoke cheers of glee from his white supremacist supporters? (White Supremacists Plan Rally)

My anecdotal take on the small group of you who are telling the rest of us to stand down (and in the wee hours following the election, no less), to get over our whining, to be a good American – is that most of you I know didn’t work very hard, if at all, for the Democratic candidate. Not one of those in my circle of friends who are bemoaning the anger on the left stepped foot outside of their homes to knock on doors, not one made phone calls, and in several cases, didn’t even bother to show up to vote.

A tangential acquaintance of mine was one of the first out of the gate to righteously call for her women “friends” to calm down already. She, by the way, is a white liberal woman in a swing state who actually came to this country as a refugee, but seems to have forgotten that a lot of people fought hard for her right to be welcomed.

By early Wednesday morning, my Canadian friends, and not just a few of them, were already helpfully suggesting that we Americans who were so angry and in shock by what had just happened should try to see the other side’s point of view – posting lots of cheery articles about how we need to work together. Spoken like an expert who has no idea of what it means to a middle-class hardworking family to have to sell ones house or go on welfare to pay for medical bills or one who has never lived under a regime that starts wars to fund an oil empire. I suspect when the next president’s EPA chief, who, by the way, will not believe in global warming, allows further deregulation – our rancid acid rain showering down on their fair citizens might goose them a bit.

My all time favorite over the past few days posted from white men in deep red states is that the hate speech, signs, notes, graffiti admonishing blacks/Muslims/Mexicans to go back to where they came from are some isolated incidents that liberals are making into a big deal. (Rash of Racist Attacks)

Please. Stop yourself.

For one moment, consider that many of us felt personally abused by the next president of the United States. His words cut deep, his actions even deeper. He called people whom we love horrific names. He threatened children and their families. He bragged of sexual aggression. The closest analogy I have to how your calls for us to just stop our whining is a scenario of a rape victim being asked to sit down and find common ground with her rapist. Too dramatic for you?

Okay, how about this.

When your daughter tells you that today at school just as she was sitting down at her lunch table with all of her friends, the school bully yells out for everyone to hear, “Look at what Susie’s eating! She’s a fat pig!”

Or, the bully yells out, “Hey, Ahmed, go back to Africa!”

Or , when your handicapped daughter wrangles her leg braces into a pep rally at school only to hear some loudly whisper, “Here comes the retard!”

Or, maybe when your teenager is standing in line at Starbucks and the guy behind her puts his hands on her ass and she flees, terrified.

Will you stand by your admonition to just give the abuser a fair shake? Will you march your daughter or son over to his house and force them to sit down with him to try and find common ground for the sake of school unity? I imagine you might. Because peace at all cost is far more important to you, it would appear, than her sanctity, the way she thinks about herself, who she allows to touch her, and how your son feels when he is told he doesn’t belong.

So, here’s my olive branch. Get angry. Get involved. Learn the lessons of those who have gone before you. Do it in your way, in your voice, and at your speed. But, don’t admonish those of us who are genuinely hurt, horrified, and disgusted by someone who believes he represents over half of this country. He doesn’t.

Oh, for Pete’s Sake – This Is NOT Rocket Science

There’s a whole lot of Monday morning quarterbacking going on and so much of it is so inaccurate and selfish and just plain wrong. This one worked for the unions so HE knows exactly what happened. That one lives in rural Ohio and HE knows why we lost. She worked for the last administration and THIS is what happened.

Bernie Bros hold Clinton 100% accountable.

“Angry” White Working Men hold Obama 100% accountable.

53% of Women Who Voted for Trump – well, who they say they blame and why they voted the way they did – the jury is still out on this one. I have my thoughts and I think I’m right and I believe the post mortem will support me, but for now, I’ll save the theory for another day.

However, if hell freezes over and an honest media (ha) can find a way (good luck) to tease out the lies they tell themselves and the lies we overlay upon them – well, good luck with that. It ain’t gonna happen. Not one of them, not my white catholic relatives who could never vote for a candidate that supports killing the unborn (and they are not fooled by words they consider rhetoric that involve the word choice), not my white working class colleagues whose husband has convinced them that blacks and Mexicans and immigrants (and, and, and) are gonna take their jobs. No, I don’t think this is a group, in large measure, that is gettable to our side. Not that they aren’t worth some time and effort, just not much. My opinion. Be like Trump and sue me.

Clinton received, what is being reported this morning as nearly 300,000 more votes than her Republican opponent. What we know, obviously, is that the 300K didn’t come in counties where it counted.

I’ll discuss my fan girl love for Karl Rovian political strategy (not the man, please, not the man himself) at another time. It is key and it is complicated and it is boring as all get out. But, it works. Another day for all of that because it’s too early for me to even start the exhausting feat of caring about why what happened, happened. But, as my brain starts to wake up from the fog of the last three days, I know that Democrats forgot a couple of things, in my opinion:

1) Good policy, even great policy, does no good in the voting booth if the electorate doesn’t understand how it came to be – who was responsible for it – what their lives would be without it – in clear, succinct terms.

2) None of it makes a difference if they don’t show up anyway.

3) We went for the middle when we should have been going for the left.

4) The Today show had the bigot himself on nearly every day by phone or in person during the primaries, yammering on about God knows what, but he was there, selling his snake oil until it became fact. We rarely had someone on – and when we did, we had some second tier policy wonk. Our leaders could have called them out. Instead, we thought all the attention would give the bigot enough rope. Well, we learned how that works. All press, even bad press, is better than no press. Media matters – even a dishonest, ratings whore of a media.

Democrats need to sell a bit of their self-righteous soul and understand that being able to communicate is what matters in an election. A vacuum will be filled by something. This time around it was racist language, audacious comments, and a plagiarizing porn star, though I’m sure she is a nice lady, for our next first lady. When the religious right allows themselves to be co-opted by THAT (Mormons excluded here), then you know you’ve lost the public relations game.

There are facts about what the Obama administration actually did that impacted the working class. And then there is the media’s projection of the GOP talking points that is parading around as fact.  I’m dismayed to hear that kind of horseshit coming out of liberal’s mouths these last 36 hours. They know better. We know better.

Soon, we will also have facts about who in those populations didn’t get the message that they were, in fact, helped. Hello, white working women – Lilly Ledbetter, anyone?

The Obama administration was handed an economic crisis to deal with in the same fashion that Bush was handed 9/11. No, they aren’t the same thing. But they were both devastating crises from which both candidates had to recover. In the case of Obama, any improvement in the economy was a boon. For Bush, standing on a pile of rubble and shouting into a bullhorn to the real working men and women doing the search and recovery efforts will ever endear him to many of us, even those who came to deplore him. The aftermath of his alliance with the dark overlord is another story.

From a PR standpoint, and the view from my owned biased lens, I lay much of the election loss at the feet of the media. Coverage of the next president-elect was so over-bloated, beginning at the primaries, that I’ll never trust much of the on-air fourth estate again. My news will come from the writers that I trust. Who got it and will continue to get it. Those who called the bully a bully. Those who weren’t afraid to define the next president of the United States in terms of his actions and his deeds. Those who weren’t afraid to use the words xenophobe, racist, sexist, misogynist without then also trying to save their reputations of being too liberal by providing some false equivalence addendum. I’ll trust those writers going forward. The on air media can go to hell. Matt Lauer and NBC – ya listening? I turned off my morning television months and months ago and I’m betting my hat that many others did the same.

So, what do we liberals do?

It will be a long time before I can break bread with anyone who voted for the next president or voted for a third party candidate in a state where it may have mattered. As someone who is a better communicator than I said, this isn’t political, it’s personal. Their vote was for party over country. Personal over friendship. It will be a long time before they are forgiven for the statement their vote made about the people I love. And, it is not irony that the few of them that I care to (or have to) keep in my orbit who did vote for the bigot, will scarcely be touched by the policies of the new administration.

I will not negotiate, compromise, find middle ground (blah blah blah), or pretend to work with someone who voted for a man to represent our beloved country who said those things about my family, my friends, the people I care about, the people I work on behalf of, the people who I share a gender with.

Because here’s the thing no one is saying: We’ve been in their midst for a lifetime. They are the ones that post side-by-side pictures of Michelle Obama and an ape. I have been in hospital waiting rooms, grocery market lines, hair salons when I’ve heard them talk about black people. Except they didn’t use the term black people – because they didn’t think they had to. The N-word worked just fine. Family members, when they thought they were in closed quarters talked about our current president in ways that made me physically ill. No, we already know who they are – and where they hide, right behind their fake outrage about voting for someone who will “shake things up.”

But these ignorant people have no idea what that means. They couldn’t know, because their new leader has never told them, though he did give them a cool hat with a lofty slogan and they love their slogans, as we know. And, if they succeeded in getting that black family out of their White House, well, there was no way in hell they would let an even worse abomination in the form of a woman take the reins.

I am embarrassed by some of my liberal allies who say we must listen to them to understand where their anger roots itself.

Really? Because I would say, do you honestly think these people are stupid enough to admit to you that they voted for the man because he will stop giving jobs to black people? or poor people? or brown people? C’mon now.

An honest reporter would delve further when they say – I want immigration reform. Well, what do you mean by that? What does that look like? How has it HONESTLY affected your job. Show us how. Tell us how. They can’t, and they won’t. Because, for many of these voters, it doesn’t exist. It’s a convenient cover. The angry white man has always been an angry white man. He just chose not to vote all those other times, because a white man in a white house is nothing to get to worked up about. A black man or a women, well now. That’s a different story.

That’s not to say there isn’t pain out there and there are not improvements to be made and unemployment rates to tackle and salaries to raise. But we know the real story here. We’ve always known.

We already know racism is alive and well, and when our free press chooses to ignore that and instead creates a story that was never there (he’s for the common guy! she’s a crook!) and then hounds that message into the uneducated white working class’s collective head each and every day for months on end (it used to be known by another word, propaganda – google the words Nazi Germany), you get a narrative the most base of our nation can hide behind. You, my liberal kind hearts, will not be able to tease out the why.

Wanna work on racism as a way to calm their fears? How ’bout working on first things first. Get Democrats elected who will re-install the Voter Rights Act. Who will insure that gerrymandering isn’t a way of life. Who will make it so that people like me will want to go live in (formerly) red states. Okay, that will never happen, but sitting down and talking to racists to find out why they feel the way they do? Please. Been there, done that.

Put the horse in front of the cart, for Pete’s sake. Racists fears will be calmed when they realize Democratic ideals actually help them. That their guns are firmly in their racks by their front door. That their God didn’t go away when a woman was elected president. That Democrats pray, and shoot, and say stupid things, too. That their wives actually do want a choice.

Until THEY change their hearts and minds, I don’t want them on my team.

And we don’t need them.

If Democrats would stop wasting their time on this baseless class of xenophobes and start putting their energy into crafting a message that actually resonates with the people who didn’t vote – because, truth be told, all cards on the table here, we have our own uneducated working and poor classes that DO have the ability, whether they know it or not, to vote.

These are the people that we need to sit down with. The Bernie Sanders supporters who actually held their nose, for the good of the country, and showed up at the polls and voted for Hillary Clinton. THEY will be the leaders of tomorrow that will shine and save us from ourselves. They want all the things my Democratic party is built on. They are not the fringe left. They get it – and they are smart and mature enough to sometimes take bad medicine when it will help prevent what happened on Tuesday. They won my heart and my loyalty. No, I will never be a third party voter. I will never vote for the Green Party or for the Independent Party. I’m a yellow dog democrat in the way that Elizabeth Warren is. We believe our party isn’t perfect, but it is very, very good. And change can (and has) come from the inside, bottom up.

But, I will work hard to find common ground with others (on the left) who don’t identify as a Democrat. I firmly believe if we can link arms and figure out a way forward together – that we not let the fact that I care a lot about the environment, but when forced with a choice, I may have to swing toward better welfare for the working poor and not hold that against me – then we can start moving forward. I will do the same for them. We must realize, as the Republicans have, that we have each other’s back. Ministers in deep red Ohio admonishing their congregations to overlook the language and the actions of a known bigot because he is in the party of GOD and the Democrats are not? If my (white, male) educated lawyer friend buys that, then surely we can find common ground between people who need healthcare and people who want to save the environment. Surely.

They get, as I do, as almost everyone I respect does, (and frankly, as I believe Hillary Clinton does), that perfect is the enemy of good. The stars make a pretty great place to live when one falls short of the moon, after all.

But, these folks and the working poor, and the poor who are not working, have a whole lot of shit in their way. Child care, bills, food, the inability to get an ID card, the fear of showing up at a polling place, transportation, television sets and the time to watch them, and the list goes on. I can sit in my nice house, and watch my daily news programs, and eat my fancy Thai take out and rage about the latest policy change, and celebrate the new unemployment numbers, but we know, we KNOW, we simply know, that many of the people who clean our houses and serve our coffee, those who go to our community colleges and take our tolls, won’t get that kind of message delivered in that kind of way. Not now, and probably not ever.

I was in the bowels of a government office building last night and two janitors, Hispanic and young, were emptying waste baskets. One said to the other, “yeah, did you hear about the election?” The other said, “no, was it this week? Did that white dude win?”

I thought to myself – here are two young people who had some periphery knowledge that an election was taking place at some recent point and a vague recollection that some white dude might have won. But that was it. They moved on to another subject.

Now there’s a group worthy of the Democratic party’s time and effort.

I had the privilege of being in a small group conference with Lilly Ledbetter last month – SHE could have made a difference to white working women voting in this week’s election. Her message was clear. Her story was compelling. Her every-women twang was real. She could have made a difference. She was nowhere on the campaign trail.

Policy schmolicy isn’t going to reach them, baby. When the MSM isn’t a factor in their lives, nor are newspapers, or rallies, nor leaflets or yard signs,  nor even wages – unless they understand who is responsible for that raise or that job – then, it is our mission to find out what will get to them. Unions used to do a good job at that – we knew that unions were responsible for fighting for our wages and our jobs. It was easy to know, if we wanted to keep our jobs, then we should vote for whatever candidate supported the unions.

Easy, peasy. The message was there: Unemployment down. Jobs up. Equal pay for equal work a law. Healthcare for all. It just failed to appear on the campaign trail because the media made sure we were instead consumed with slowing down as we passed the train wreck on the other side of the road.

 

What is Your Voting Plan?

SO, here’s my voting plan: already done. Have you voted yet?

Seriously, if you are apathetic and don’t plan to vote, read on.

If you are voting for a man who has recently been accused of sexual misconduct (to put it mildly) by 11 women – I simply refuse to believe I actually have “friends” and acquaintances who think that orange hued lump of sludge is worth wasting your vote on. Or, perhaps it is simply that I have been misled about your intellect – only a true fool thinks this known liar, thief, KGB sympathizer, misogynist, racist, asshole will make their life better – and I know (okay, I hope) you are smarter than that.

If you are too busy to find time in your schedule, too broke to get to the polls, too intimidated by poll watchers to show up – call me, I will drive you or find some other kind soul to do so.

If you think your vote doesn’t count, go vote anyway, just in case your all-knowing self is wrong. What exactly is the downside?

Even if you don’t “like” Hillary, do those of us a favor who think that electing a woman president is actually a big fucking deal and a whole helluva lot of change – and in breaking the glass ceiling will allow your daughters, even if they are being raised to be alt-right nutties, a chance at the highest office. To paraphrase Oprah, you don’t have to like her – she ain’t inviting you over for dinner anytime soon – but, you do have to put your ethics and morals on the line here. If you wouldn’t allow your priest, your husband, your son, to talk about grabbing your daughter’s genitals – then do the right thing and vote for someone else.

Even if Clinton turns out to be a disaster of a president (and I’m confident she won’t), you will have four years to advocate for a candidate who will make you feel proud instead of feeling like you need to take a hot shower or go to confession.

Knock off the bullshit – you may “hate” her, but you do understand that the world doesn’t, half the country doesn’t, most of the armed forces leadership doesn’t, most Hispanics don’t, almost every person of color doesn’t, and most importantly, your mothers, sisters, wives, daughters – nearly all of them don’t.

Put your vote where your words have been all these years you family values voters, you environmentalists, you church-going evangelists, you I’m-against-big-money-advocates – sometimes life isn’t black and white – sometimes you have to look at the big picture. Do that now and go vote. Call me when you’re done and I’ll will listen patiently while you tell me how awful it was to check the box for Clinton. I will buy you a drink to wash away the taste. But, do me a favor this one time – go vote.

Then get off your ass for the next four years and make whatever you think you want to happen, happen. Because, here’s the thing you can learn from our first woman president – sometimes you have to do things you don’t like. Sometimes even if you’re not perfect, kids get healthcare, sick people get insurance, women get taken seriously in the workplace. You will learn that perfect is the enemy of good. You will learn about perseverance. And finally, you will learn that working hard and trying to do the right thing gets you way farther than sitting at home on your couch inhaling orange dusted cheetos.